i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
im on a boat
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