My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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