I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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