Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize