Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
