I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
