I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
