omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The Olympian is in my bed
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
