I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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