Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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