just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
