The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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