Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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