My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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