I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
