theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
