You made me cry and you don't even care
accomplished twins. life is a go
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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