I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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