Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
