We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
