Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
