The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
