I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
