if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
sex in a hospital.. check
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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