all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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