Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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