so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
