Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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