i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
