But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
handjob tips. give me some.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
