M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
