I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
