Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize