Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
