I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
True strength comes from lack of pants
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
