Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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