I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize