If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
