Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
