You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
