It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I still have a little drunk in my system
I lost the right to judge tonight
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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