***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
