Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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