bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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