that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
