As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Randomize
