Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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