What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
