My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
