I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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