You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
