The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
