My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Boobs are out for the taking
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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