so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize