The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
