if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
