You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
