Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
