if you like me you must not know who I am
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
