your parents love me but you hate me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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